They forgot "Wear sunscreen"

[avram]

Chris just emailed me a chain message called the “Lotus Totus”. Passing it on is supposed to give good luck, which is clearly bullshit, but the actual advice is reminiscent of Mary Schmich’s “Wear sunscreen” column which got emailed around as an MIT commencement speech attributed to Kurt Vonnegut. Only the “Lotus Totus” is less witty.

The message alleges to have “originated from the Anthony Robbins Organization”, and that it needs to be sent on within six minutes or some unspecified bad thing will happen, because if your friends are lazy or not good with computers or have a funky net connection you want them to have bad luck, I guess. Yeah, yeah. And the author doesn’t win any points from me for using phrases like “not superstitious, agnostic, or otherwise faith impaired”. Anyway, since this might become the Next Big Meme (the copy I got had been forwarded enough times that it was well on its way to being trace alphanumerics in a sea of greater-than marks, the heat death of email chain letters), I figure I might as well present the 21 points:

1. Give people more than they expect and do it cheerfully.
2. Marry a man/woman you love to talk to. As you get older, their conversational skills will be as important as any other.
3. Don’t believe all you hear, spend all you have or sleep all you want.
4. When you say, “I love you”, mean it.
5. When you say, “I’m sorry”, look the person in the eye.
6. Be engaged at least six months before you get married.
7. Believe in love at first sight.
8. Never laugh at anyone’s dreams. People who don’t have dreams don’t have dreams don’t have much.
9. Love deeply and passionately. You might get hurt but it’s the only way to live life completely.
10. In disagreements, fight fairly. No name calling.
11. Don’t judge people by their relatives.
12. Talk slowly but think quickly.
13. When someone asks you a question you don’t want to answer, smile and ask, “Why do you want to know?”
14. Remember that great love and great achievements involve great risk.
15. Say “bless you” when you hear someone sneeze.
16. When you lose, don’t lose the lesson.
17. Remember the three R’s: Respect for self; Respect for others; and Responsibility for all your actions.
18. Don’t let a little dispute injure a great friendship.
19. When you realize you’ve made a mistake, take immediate steps to correct it.
20. Smile when picking up the phone. The caller will hear it in your voice.
21. Spend some time alone.

Feel free to not pass it on.