Rut

[avram]

I’m in a rut. Rut, rut, rut. I can’t seem to get interested in anything, I just sit here wasting time in front of the computer all day, except when I occasionally go out and buy art supplies that I never seem to get around to doing anything interesting with. I need... I was going to say I need a smack in the head to snap me out of this, but I know too many people reading this who would take it with enthusiastic literalism. This isn’t being depressed, quite, it’s... My thoughts are chasing themselves around my head in circles. Images are flickering through my brain too quickly to get a fix on. I need something, but I don’t know what.

And tomorrow’s Saturday. One of the weird things about being unemployed is that it turns the week inside-out. Weekdays are when I can go out and travel the city, go to museums, see movies, whatever, knowing that as long as I avoid the subways around rush hour I won’t have to fight the crowds. Weekends are the days I want to stay at home, because everyone else is out.