"Captain 'Lucky Jack' Aragorn paced anxiously on the foredeck of the Ungainly...."

[avram]

Oh, this is the funniest thing I’ve read in weeks! Teresa linked to a thread on the Straight Dope Message Board where people are writing bits of what Lord of the Rings would have been like if it had been written by other authors, like JK Rowling and James Joyce and Aaron Sorkin and Ernest Hemmingway and Rudyard Kipling and Tom Clancy and Doc Smith and dozens of others.