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Google Books has confirmed for me something I recall noticing — that Orson Scott Card’s 1995 novel Alvin Journeyman takes place in a world populated by owls:

  • Page 35: Becca hooted.
  • Page 38: The boy hooted.
  • Page 57: Alvin hooted derisively.
  • Page 138: […] but Horace hooted […] It was Vilante’s turn to hoot with laughter.
  • Page 192: The lanky one hooted and several others chuckled.
  • Page 195: Measure hooted with laughter.
  • Page 199: Marty Laws, the county attorney, hooted at the joke.
  • Page 210 Alvin hooted.
  • Page 215 “Only so’s you can lick it out after!” hooted Mike Fink.
  • Page 218: He hooted twice, high, as if he were some kind of steam whistle, and Holly hooted back and laughed.
  • Page 316: The bailiff rummaged through the handbag, then suddenly hooted and jumped back.
  • Page 360: Measure hooted once — after the door was closed.
  • Page 366: He looked at Margaret with all the meaning he could put in his face, and everybody hooted and clapped.

There are also a couple of people not giving hoots, on pages 73 and 337.

This was the book that put me off Card’s writing permanently. I’m not the only one; this was also the first Alvin Maker book not to get a Hugo nomination (and it’s not as if the competition was particularly strong that year), and none have gotten one since. In fact, as far as I can tell by skimming through Locus’s records with bleary eyes at 2 AM, Card’s last Hugo nomination in any category was in in 1992, around the same time that news of his anti-gay bigotry was starting to spread through the SF fan community (I first saw photocopies of the linked essay handed around as photocopies at the 1991 Worldcon in Chicago).

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Remember a couple years back when I summarized the Lawrence vs Texas decision? A bit from my characterization of Scalia’s dissent:
This decision will make it harder for to make life difficult for gay people. We won’t be able to fire them at will, or evict them from their homes, or ban their yucky behavior. [... ] Um, not that I have anything against gay people. Honest.

Scalia hasn’t clarified that position much, refusing even to tell us whether he’s stopped sodomizing his wife yet. But here’s a Canadian evangelical who’s clearly Scalia’s philosophical bedfellow:
  • Teachers who will be forced to teach about same-sex relationships and validate same-sex marriage to their students without accommodation for their deeply held religious beliefs. See the Chris Kempling case.
  • Students who will not have their religious beliefs respected but will be forced not only to learn about theses issues but also to reproduce what they have learned on tests.
  • Politicians will be required to give congratulatory certificates on significant anniversaries of same-sex couples.
  • Printers will be required to print invitations for same-sex weddings. See the Scott Brockie case.
  • Halls, caterers, florists, musicians, etc. will all be required to provide their services without discrimination to same-sex weddings.

Imagine. Soon we’ll have to let them drink out of our water fountains and sit wherever they want on the bus. (Though what’s with the congratulatory certificates? Is that a Canadian thing? Are they worried that gay cooties can be transmitted backwards through the mail?)

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