Seder stories

First night

Me: This Coca-Cola is made with sugar, as it was in the days when the Lord took me out of Egypt.
bugsybanana: We drink this in remembrance of the wax tadpole Pharaoh bit that set his teeth on edge.

Second night

“I like it rough” ranks pretty high on the list of things one should never have to hear one’s mother say.

OK, she was talking about haroset, and she meant “coarse”, but still.

Nothing against lesbians, but she wouldn’t let her daughter marry one

Remember a couple years back when I summarized the Lawrence vs Texas decision? A bit from my characterization of Scalia’s dissent:

This decision will make it harder for to make life difficult for gay people. We won’t be able to fire them at will, or evict them from their homes, or ban their yucky behavior. [... ] Um, not that I have anything against gay people. Honest.

Scalia hasn’t clarified that position much, refusing even to tell us whether he’s stopped sodomizing his wife yet. But here’s a Canadian evangelical who’s clearly Scalia’s philosophical bedfellow:

• Teachers who will be forced to teach about same-sex relationships and validate same-sex marriage to their students without accommodation for their deeply held religious beliefs. See the Chris Kempling case.
• Students who will not have their religious beliefs respected but will be forced not only to learn about theses issues but also to reproduce what they have learned on tests.
• Politicians will be required to give congratulatory certificates on significant anniversaries of same-sex couples.
• Printers will be required to print invitations for same-sex weddings. See the Scott Brockie case.
• Halls, caterers, florists, musicians, etc. will all be required to provide their services without discrimination to same-sex weddings.

Imagine. Soon we’ll have to let them drink out of our water fountains and sit wherever they want on the bus. (Though what’s with the congratulatory certificates? Is that a Canadian thing? Are they worried that gay cooties can be transmitted backwards through the mail?)